My Defining Moments
by TeenWriterKimba
Summary: Can one pinpoint specific moments that define a relationship? That define a life? I can think of a few... Some dark content in later chapters. Ferb/Isabella.
1. Start of Something New

I saw some lovely Ferb and Isabella art awhile ago and this little story has been in progress ever since. I'm not sure how this pairing is taken in the fandom, but please no flames. I love Phineas and Isabella together as well, but I always seem to ship the underdog pairing regardless. Just think of this as an alternative option.

This story does have a dark tint in later chapters, so don't expect it to be all light and fluffy. By the last chapter I will probably up the rating to M. You have been warned.

As per usual, I don't own anything. Enjoy!

My Defining Moments

Love, my mother once told me, is not something you plan. Maybe she said that the day I told her Phineas and I were getting married. When I was 8. I don't remember, but I certainly remember thinking that she was totally wrong. After all, Phineas and I were perfect. And one day, once all my efforts paid off-all my time hanging around him dropping hints, all of my casually flirty, "Whatcha doin'?" conversations-we would be together. We would be the perfect high school couple that everyone voted prom king and queen. We would have the perfect first kiss and the perfect first date and, maybe, I thought as I got older, he would be my perfect _first_, and of course we would do all this at the perfect moment for both of us. And then someday we would have the perfect wedding and would have a perfect family and we would both have perfect jobs and we would live an absolutely perfect happily ever after.

The only problem with all this was, of course, my mother was right. Phineas wasn't perfect. And neither was I. The problem, I think, was Phineas' perfect plans, the ones I had admired for so long. We spent summer after summer together, me tagging along to help whenever I could with all of his plans. Well, Ferb's plans too, but most importantly Phineas' plans. As we all grew, the plans got more and more complex, and more and more time consuming. Whereas before we might build a beach in the backyard for a day and then build a roller coaster the next, the boys began to spend more and more time on each stupid, non-fun idea like cold fusion and some kind of string theory. My help was needed less and less as the projects became more out of my league, and I began to despair that all my work trying to woo Phineas would be for naught.

When I went crying to my mother about all my hopes and fears and worries about Phineas, she usually just patted my back and told me it would all work out okay. But one day, she shared some surprising insight that really stuck with me. She told me that if it was meant to be, I would just know. It wouldn't be a question. There would be what she called 'defining moments in our relationship'. I didn't understand then. I was a silly middle school girl. How could I understand what a defining moment of a love, of a life was? I couldn't comprehend that a moment, a day, a night, could entirely change and define what you would become. But everyone has them. Some are cherished, some are tinged with regret, some lurk in the shadows of nightmares. These ones are mine.

I was fourteen when the first of what I like to call "the incidents" occurred. I had oftentimes, over the years, gone to Candace for advice when my mother proved to be unhelpful once again. When I first attempted to talk to her, she would be too busy with her obsession with busting her brothers and simultaneously trying to get her friend Jeremy to ask her out. However, as time went on and her priorities changed (school became more important, she dated and subsequently broke up with Jeremy) she began to listen more and she actually gave very good advice. She spoke mostly from seventeen and cosmopolitan magazines and only a little bit from experience, but to my middle school-aged self she seemed like the wisest guru. The first of the incidents occurred when Candace had just finished her freshman year of college and Phineas, Ferb, and I were out of high school for the summer.

I spent lots of time there, as per usual, always trying to wiggle my way into Phineas' heart. The boys had recently begun spending more and more time locked up in the garage working on some 'top secret government project' and had had little time to see me. I was in a funk that even working on campfire girl badges couldn't fix. After being turned away at the garage door yet again, I wandered upstairs looking for Candace, looking for any kind of answer to my conundrum. Candace wasn't in her room, and I became more and more upset as I wandered around the upstairs of the Flynn-Fletcher home. By the time I stumbled into Ferb's room-in a last ditch attempt to find Candace I must have looked absolutely miserable. Candace wasn't there, but Ferb was.

He was sitting on his bed, casually flipping through some kind of very thick book. He glanced up as I walked in. His brow furrowed as he saw how clearly upset I was. I hadn't expected to run into anyone except Candace and I was too upset to think clearly. I started babbling.

"Oh…I'm sorry…I was looking for…have you seen…why aren't you in the garage?" My thoughts were racing in a thousand directions. I wasn't even coherent enough to speak a full sentence. Ferb shrugged in answer to one of my questions, although I couldn't even entirely remember what I had asked. "I'll just...I'm sorry…see you around…" I turned to go when I heard an unexpected accented voice.

"Isabella."

I turned, shocked to actually have heard Ferb speak at all, let alone to me. He tended to be a man of action, not words, or so Phineas always said anyway. He was standing, having discarded the book on the floor. He head was cocked, his eyes questioning, and he held his hand in front of him, beckoning. I took two steps forward, cautiously. I had never even had a conversation with Ferb, let alone spent any real time getting to know him. Yet here he stood, curious about my problems, willing to listen. I stood a foot in front of him, unsure of what to say, unwilling to get any closer, feeling uncomfortable about the whole situation. Heaven forbid Phineas walk in and assume something was going on with me and his brother. It would ruin everything.

But then, Ferb said the only words that could possibly have shocked me even more. "What in the world has that brother of mine done to you now?"

He knew. I mean, on some level, I always knew that he knew. Everyone must have known. I was so obvious about my intentions that it was likely that everyone knew except oblivious Phineas. But having it out there in the open was too much for me. And the way he not only knew, but understood exactly why I was upset and felt sympathy towards my plight…I couldn't handle it. Before I knew what I was doing I had literally thrown myself into his arms, nearly bowling him over in the process, and began sobbing. Loudly and rather obnoxiously.

I couldn't help it. Everything had been building up inside me for far too long and even though my friends, my family, and even Candace had tried to understand, none of them really could. Only Ferb, who really knew me and Phineas both far too well and had been there to see everything-all of my attempts, all of my failures- understood the extent that I was hurting.

He was honestly too good about everything that followed. I'm pretty sure that my first bout of sobbing nearly soaked through his shirt. After I ceased for a few moments, he managed to get me to sit down on his bed and release my death grip on him. And that was when the flood gates really opened. I started speaking and couldn't stop myself. I told him _everything_. All my hopes, all my dreams, all my perfect plans about Phineas, and how I felt they were all for naught. I told him everything, and then I cried some more, and then talked and sobbed even more. I cried until I literally had no more energy or tears left and fell asleep, possibly while I was still mid-sentence and also possibly directly on top of Ferb.

When I finally woke up, several hours had passed and the sun was beginning to set. Perry was curled up alongside me. Ferb was gone, but he had been kind enough to cover me up with a blanket. As I shook off my grogginess, I noticed a note on the pillow next to my head. It was short, simple, but also possibly the sweetest thing I had ever read.

Isabella,

I understand. I knew everything before today, and I would have known even if you never spoken to me now. But if you ever need to talk, even if it seems stupid or useless, I'm always here. I know I don't speak very well, but I can listen beautifully. If you never want to speak of this again, it never happened, consider it a dream, and leave this note where you found it. Either way, Mum says you can stay for dinner.

Ferb

I took the note. I wasn't sure if I would ever take him up on his offer, but it didn't feel right leaving the note there all alone. It would be like breaking a promise. I went to dinner, and Phineas babbled about cold fusion and Candace babbled about college boys and Ferb sat in silence. It felt the same always. But it wasn't. It suddenly felt right.


	2. I'll Be There

Thank you to everyone who read the last chapter, especially to those who reviewed. There's some mild language in this chapter.

I don't own anything, you know the drill.

Chapter Two

The second incident occurred about a year later, maybe a little less, during one of the school holiday breaks. I saw him between the two, but it was nothing out of the ordinary. I spent the rest of the summer trying to get Phineas' attention and kept at it on weekends once we went back to school. That time is very blurry in my memory now, but I remember far too clearly how it started. It was a clear, sunny day and the world seemed alive. I was up and about and getting ready to have a lovely day. I remember absentmindedly finding the house to be a little too quiet, but I figured one of my parents was just out. My dad had just started drinking again and it seemed as if they hadn't stopped fighting since. I walked down the stairs, not planning to give it a second thought when I noticed my parents sitting stiffly on the chairs in living room. Waiting for me.

"Isabella…we have something we need to talk about." My mother, sounding too cold and too formal. Holding back.

"Your mother and I…we're getting a divorce." Just like my dad. He couldn't stand small talk or awkwardly avoiding the subject. He always got straight to the point. Up until then I had admired him for his straight talking attitude, but it was like a punch in the gut as the news slowly sank in.

Mom stood. "I understand this may be hard, and you may have questions, but believe us this isn't about you, we love you and-"

I'm sure there was more. Or more was planned anyway. But I felt myself moving, heard them both calling my name, asking me to come back. As if it wasn't way too late for that.

I didn't know where I was going. Who could I even turn to? The fireside girls all had perfect families. All of my friends did. We lived in a small, tight-knit suburban neighborhood and if your parents were getting a divorce then you suddenly became a social pariah. I wandered for awhile and probably would have found some place to curl up in a ball and never come out had I not found myself suddenly standing in front of the Flynn-Fletcher house.

I considered, for a moment, the note hidden away in my sock drawer. I doubted that, even if he wasn't busy, Ferb had actually meant his promise in the note. I had never spoken two words to him before that day. But I didn't have time or energy to keep going. Even if Ferb wasn't around, at least I could find Candace and get some advice from her. It wouldn't do much good and she would probably gossip but it wouldn't be long before the secret was out anyway. At least I would have someone to keep me from falling apart.

I wandered upstairs to find a closed door where Ferb's room usually was. I had never seen it closed before, not that I spent large amounts of time wandering on the upper floor of the Flynn-Fletcher house. I knocked, figuring it was worth a shot. I heard a thump and then some odd mumbling. Then a gruff voice emerged.

"I told you, I don't care what Barack said to you, I want to sleep in today. Global warming can wait an extra few hours," it said. Then the door flew open and a very irritated, very half-naked Ferb emerged. Apparently I had caught him still in bed and all he had on were some dark green boxer shorts. He did a double take when he saw me standing there. "Isabella?"

I couldn't help it. Despite the slightly awkward situation and my crushing sadness, I started laughing. When I finally stopped, he was smiling and leaning casually against his door as if this happened every day. "You know, when I said you could stop by anytime, I was talking about a time when I was wearing pants." The tension dissipated instantly and I smiled back. "Wait just a second." He closed the door and I was left standing in the hall. I felt my smile fade and the crushing weight settled back in my chest. I leaned my head against the doorframe. I felt lost, but already Ferb was making it a little better, a little bearable. I needed something steady to cling to and he appeared to be my best option. When he opened the door again, he was wearing faded jeans and one of his many white shirts. He took one look at me and his casual smile faded.

"So?" he asked.

"I…I need to take you up on your offer, I think. I…my parents are…they're getting…" I felt a lump forming in my throat just thinking about saying the word. In the end it came out as a broken whisper…"_divorce_."

He opened the door and I walked past, sitting quietly on his bed. It was still rumpled from his recent sleep, but there appeared to be no other sitting furniture present. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I put my head in my hands. Suddenly, I was the silent one. I heard the door close and felt the bed shift as he sat beside me. "Did you want to talk about it?" he asked. I shook my head, and felt the wetness begin to form at the corners of my eyes.

The crying was quiet this time and there were no random bouts of gibberish. Just hot, wet tears rolling down my face. I felt broken, like an integral part of me had been ripped away. I think Ferb might have held me. In any case, he was holding me when he began speaking. "Mum isn't my real mum you know. I don't talk about my other mum much. Well, I don't talk much in general, I suppose. Just seems that there isn't always much to say, what with Phineas around," I could almost picture the wry smile on his lips.

"She was the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. She had this long curly hair that seemed to go on forever, and she dyed it the brightest shade of blue that you've ever seen. She didn't do it to get noticed or to be different though. She did it because blue was her favorite color, so why not have blue hair?" The rumble of his chest was oddly calming. Even though I had never heard Ferb speak this much before and hadn't even been aware that he could, it didn't seem odd to me at all. Maybe I was just too far lost in my sadness.

"She had these warm brown eyes like chocolate and honey. She was bigger than Mum but she wasn't unhealthy. She liked to say that she just had plenty to love and she certainly made the best pillow. She was the most unconditionally loving and caring women I've ever known. She was the type of person that knew I'd had a bad day before I even walked through the door and would have a plate of fresh chocolate chip cookies waiting. Some nights when I couldn't sleep, I'd curl up in her arms and listen to her breathe. It was the most peaceful I've ever felt. We were such a happy family and I thought we were just perfect."

"She disagreed. I was five when she left us." He stiffened for a moment. I knew it was coming, but I could tell it was difficult for him.

"His name was Henry and she met him at a concert. She was with him for almost a year before my father found out and she took off. I was too young and couldn't possibly understand. I thought it was something I did or that it was somehow my fault. Dad couldn't even begin to explain. We moved because he thought it might help me adjust and forget. We had only lived in America for a month before he met Mum and things got even more confusing. Suddenly I had a new mother and a new brother and sister to boot. Eventually things got better and we became a new family, a blended family, but an even more perfect one nonetheless."

"When we went to visit grandpa and grandma a few years ago, dad told her and she asked me to visit. It had been at least four years since I'd seen her and although I understood what had occurred between her and my father, I could never begin to expect all the ways that she…well…"

"Her hair was brown. Dark, mousy brown and straight and short. It was all wrong. I didn't recognize her. She was thin and her eyes were dull and lackluster. When she hugged me I felt her ribs. Henry sat on the couch with a beer in his hand the entire time I was there and never said a word, just sat watching us. She asked me how I was doing with school, what my interests were now, but she was awkward and everything sounded forced. She mentioned my father casually and Henry gave her this…this horrible look. She was so unhappy that it made me physically ache. Just before I left, she took me out back to show me her garden and all of a sudden she said 'What's your favorite color?' I told her that it was green and she told me to never forget that, no matter what anyone said. She squeezed my hand and I saw the chocolate in her eyes again for a moment. I dyed my hair the very next night and it's been green ever since. I know that Dad knows why, but he's so good about it that he never said a word."

"I haven't been back since, but she sent me a letter not too long ago saying that she left Henry and she wants me to visit her next time I'm in England. Her hair is blue again. She'll be like my mother again the next time I see her, but she still won't really be. Because of one stupid choice, she'll never really be my mum again."

"Kids don't deserve this shit." I had been about to drift off to sleep when his sudden harsh tone caught my attention. "If you marry someone and bring a child into this fucked up world, you need to at least care enough to be there for each other and the kid. I will never ever marry someone that isn't one hundred percent committed to the relationship and more importantly the child. I would never ever make my kid feel like I did." He was quiet once more, and the only noise was his slow and even breathing.

I felt myself slowly falling into my sleep, Ferb's story still echoing in my mind. A whisper wandered into my sleepy mind, perhaps a dream, perhaps one final thought. "_You deserve so much more than this. A girl like you deserves a perfect family with a perfect life. I'd give the world to save you from this pain._"

Then everything was black and quiet and peaceful.

* * *

><p><em>Oh god. Oh god, oh god oh, god. Where am I? Did I drink last night? Why the hell am I sleeping next to someone and why don't I remember what happened? <em>

There was someone warm and soft lying next to me and I had no idea who it was. My head was pillowed on an arm and I had my arms wrapped around a strong chest. I tried not to scream, tried to remember. Finally, using all of my strength, I opened my eyes, only to breathe a huge sigh of relief. Just Ferb. But…Ferb? I blinked a few times. He was staring at me rather intensely.

"Ferb?" my voice was rough and groggy with sleep.

"Good morning, Isabella," he smiled. "Or should I say, good afternoon."

"What…why am I...I remember falling asleep but…why are you still here?" It was odd and just a touch creepy that he had stayed with me.

"Well," he chuckled to himself, "I tried to leave right after you fell asleep. Thing was, as I went to cover you up with a blanket, you latched onto my arm and wouldn't let go. At first I thought you were awake and were faking it, but you wouldn't let go no matter what. I didn't want to disturb you so I just decided to stay with you for awhile. After awhile you released my arm, only to grab me in a bear hug and refuse to let go. It was a little comical actually."

I blushed, unable to believe I would have done something like that, even unwittingly. "You're beautiful when you sleep, you know." I startled, shocked by his bold statement. I blushed again, deeper this time and was suddenly very aware of our close proximity.

"I…I think I should be getting home," I said, sitting up and trying to dispel the awkwardness. I almost made it all the way off the bed before the meaning behind my statement sunk in. Home meant my parents, a silent home that was falling apart. "Oh…I guess…I don't know where to go from here." There was silence for a moment as we both considered the implications of what I had said.

Ferb was up and holding out his hand to me. "Come on," he said.

"Where?" I asked.

"Anywhere. Everywhere. Follow me, we'll find it together." All I remember now is this feeling blossoming in my chest. Hope, maybe, that life might go back to some kind of normal some day. I took his hand and down the stairs we went.


	3. Perfect For You

A big thanks to those who are following this little story, especially to those who have reviewed. There's some more mild language in this chapter.

I don't own anything, yada yada.

Chapter Three

As far as I know he had no destination in mind. But that didn't really matter. I had placed my hand and my trust in a boy I had known for almost my whole life and yet had never really known at all and there was no turning back. I didn't want to turn back.

Mrs. Flynn was standing in the kitchen, stirring some kind of soup. I didn't really feel like dealing with parents of any variety and hoped she might ignore us. Problem was that Mrs. Flynn was sharp. She might let her boys get away with almost any crazy invention, but she wasn't about to let one slip through her kitchen with a girl in tow.

"And where are we off this afternoon? Dinner will be ready in an hour," she turned and smiled, never ceasing the motion of her spoon.

"We're just going for a walk," Ferb said casually.

"Ah…just a walk," she repeated, raising an eyebrow. "I seem to recall what that means…"

"Mum!" Ferb exclaimed, turning a bit red. "Please."

"Well alright, but remember our talks, mister. I don't want to end up raising anymore children."

"MUM!" Ferb covered his face with his hands. I found myself giggling.

"Thanks for the advice, Mrs. Flynn!" I smiled at her as I pulled Ferb towards the door.

"Have fun kids! Don't forget, use protection if you have-" I slammed the door, blocking out whatever she was about to finish shouting. I burst into peals of laughter. I had never seen Ferb look so embarrassed.

"We bring so few girls around that she has to get in her teasing while she can," he explained, his face slowly losing its red hue. "Let's just forget that ever happened." We wandered the grid of streets and sidewalks, taking random lefts and rights as the mood struck us. After ten minutes I didn't recognize the surrounding houses at all. I began to worry we might get lost.

"Are you sure you'll know the way back?" I asked, just a hint of unease creeping into my voice. I didn't like getting lost. The campfire girls and I had once gotten so lost in the woods that we had had to spend the whole night there before we finally found our way out. I had always loved the wilderness but that was the most frightening night of my life. Even though we had the survival skills, they didn't prepare us for the fear of the unknown all around us, the fear of having no one within miles to hear us scream.

"Not to worry, "Ferb said with a reassuring smile. "I have an excellent sense of direction. Thus far we've taken a left, two rights, another left, one more right, two lefts, and a right." My eyes widened.

"That's amazing," I marveled. Even though I knew the boys were brilliant, it was easy to forget when they acted so normal all the time. Every once in a while they still managed to catch me by surprise with their genius. I picked a few more turns at random to try to trip him up but he still managed the exact sequence. I was about to suggest we start heading back when I saw something that made me gasp.

It was just a playground. But it was so much more than that. It had been my favorite playground as a kid and it was chock full of good memories of me and my parents, back when I was little and life was carefree. "C'mon!" I shouted, excitedly, grabbing Ferb's hand and pulling him along as I ran. I couldn't wait to climb the familiar structures, swing on the monkey bars of my past.

I looked back at Ferb for a moment and caught a glimpse of his face absolutely lit up by his rare laugh. He looked so genuine, so carefree. I had never heard such a beautiful sound. I couldn't help but wish I could hear it more often. Perhaps, I considered, I could be the cause of more frequent laughter. The moment came to a screeching halt, literally, when I ran us into the chain link fence. My hands hit hard against the cold chains and the rest of my body followed. Ferb, unable to stop, crashed into me from behind. He laughter ceased as the wind blew out of us both.

After a moment of breathlessness, I came back to the quite awkward situation at hand. Ferb was pressed against my back very closely, his arms wrapped around me. It was almost…intimate. I could feel each gasping breath he took. "Sorry," I mumbled, opening the gate we had crashed into. Hoping to diffuse the awkwardness, I took off running. I had already gone down the slide twice by the time he casually strolled over. He had a small smile on his face as he observed my childish fun. The awkwardness was dispelled in an instant.

I hopped off the slide and hurried over to the monkey bars. I swung from each with ease and landed quite perfectly at the end of the structure only a few feet from where he stood. "Top that," I smirked.

"You're on," he said, smiling right back. His graceful flips quite nearly outdid me, but soon we were challenging each other to slide races and epic games of tag. I felt like a little kid again, playing with a friend and forgetting all about my worries. When we finally left the playground several hours later, I realized I hadn't given my parents a single thought since we had left Ferb's house.

"Thank you," I said, as I closed the gate behind us.

"Anytime, my lady," he said gallantly. "It is my pleasure to offer my services to one so fair and kind." I giggled at his tongue in cheek chivalry. "Now, may I offer to escort you home?" He held up his arm. I hesitated for only a moment before I looped my arm through his.

We talked about this and that all the way back to his house. He never once mentioned my parents. I dreaded going back home and tried to savor the little time I had left to forget what was waiting for me in what had once been my safest haven. I didn't let go of his arm until we reached his street, and even then I took my arm back with reluctance. He locked eyes with me for only a moment as I disengaged, but there was so much behind that look.

We were silent as we stepped inside his house. Dinner was long since over but Mrs. Flynn had left us a pair of bowls and a small note with microwaving instructions and a smiley face. Ferb mimed gagging as he put the bowls in to make me giggle. We talked about my most recent campfire scout achievements and his newest projects that were not classified. I wondered, as we talked and talked and I began to feel that we could talk all night, about how much things had changed.

Before tonight, I would have been horribly disappointed to have missed dinner and not because Mrs. Flynn's food was anything to write home about. I had missed a chance to see Phineas, to flirt with him, to make one more ill-fated attempt at winning his heart. I probably wouldn't get such a golden opportunity for awhile, especially with the impending divorce. Before tonight, I would have been horribly depressed and I might have even cried.

But tonight, I had spent an entire day with Ferb. Simple, quiet Ferb. I would never have considered such a thing as good before. And yet, it had been one of the best days of my life. It had been just what I needed. Maybe Ferb was just…but no. It wasn't a possibility. Not after all the years of pining after Phineas.

Silence fell and I was considering whether I should voice some of these thoughts when Phineas walked in. And he looked…rather angry. I waited for the butterflies that always commenced upon his approach, but nothing came. If anything, I began to feel worse as I could tell by the look on his face that my wonderful day was approaching a screeching halt.

"Hello Isabella. It's good to see you," he said, his tone hardly matching his congenial words. His voice was cold, barely restrained emotion lingering just underneath the surface. He suddenly turned on his brother. "And just where were you today?" he snapped. His eyes were burning as he glared at his brother. Had I caused this animosity? I felt sick.

"I was with Isabella. She…" he glanced at me for a moment, considering something. Then he calmly spoke to his brother. "She needed me."

"Oh really? All these years you haven't spoken two words to her, and now she suddenly needs you so urgently that the fate of the world, which is in our hands, by the way, no longer matters? Don't lie to me Ferb, you forget I know you too well. I'm sick of your attitude. I need a focused partner, not some flaky fucking Romeo. You may be my brother, but I'm not above replacing you on this project that, may I remind you, is paying for your tuition next year." I couldn't help it. I started sobbing. My perfect image of Phineas, or whatever had been left of it, had suddenly dissolved. I had never seen him be so mean and angry, let alone to his best friend and brother.

I felt Ferb's arm settle around my shoulders, and then heard his voice, still calm but very cold. "Not that anything matters to you anymore, but her parents are getting a divorce." I sobbed harder.

Phineas inhaled sharply. "I…I'm so sorry Isabella, I didn't know," he sounded sincere, but any empathy had been cancelled out by his former statement. "But that doesn't change things between us, brother. We're going to have to work through the night now to make up for the time we lost today. You've been with her all day, I'm sure she's doing fine."

"In case you haven't noticed, she's crying. I hardly call that fine." I was finally getting my sobs under control, but I could still feel tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Whatever. I need you now, Ferb, or our partnership is over," Phineas stood firm, a hard look on his face.

"Please, Ferb," I said between sniffles. They both looked at me sharply. "Just go. I understand." As much as I wanted him to stay with me, I couldn't stand their fighting. I had already seen far more anger than I had ever wanted to see at home. I didn't need more. Ferb gave me a long look, and then finally nodded and stood to follow his brother, reluctantly.

"Come by tomorrow," he said. "We can talk more, if you need-"

"Ferb!" Phineas snapped. "We can't afford to lose any more time on this project. Barack is expecting a prototype for stage one on Friday and we're not even halfway done." He turned to me, no empathy in his eyes. "I'm sorry Isabella, but you're going to have to deal without him. Just go talk to your other friends, you have tons. Ferb is nothing special." He glared at his brother. I felt a pang in my chest at the animosity between the two best friends, the two brothers that stood before me. "C'mon, we have work to do." He stalked off towards the garage and I heard the door slam.

"I…I'm so sorry, Isabella. About everything," Ferb whispered. I had never seen him look so torn, so pained before. I realized suddenly that I wasn't the only one whose life was falling apart. He wiped the tears off my cheeks with the pads of his thumb and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. And then he was gone.

I sat at the table for a long time after they left. When the garage door closed behind Ferb, I heard shouting for awhile, and then a sad, empty quiet. I stared at the table which had just minutes before been joyful. All I had now was two empty dishes, a pit in my stomach, and a deadly silent, broken home waiting for me. I was alone.


	4. When the World Comes Down

Thanks again to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. This chapter is where the story gets a little too real for comfort. Please stop reading now if you're squeamish or don't like to see your favorite characters in a bad light. Here there be monsters. Besides more language, there are also drug references, physical abuse, and non-con intimacy verging on rape in this chapter. Don't say I didn't warn you.

I don't own anything, ya know, ya know.

Chapter Four

I didn't go back to the Flynn-Fletcher house for a long time. I occasionally saw the boys at school, but it wasn't the same. I most certainly wasn't speaking to Phineas, and after the horrible way our day had ended, I had trouble talking to Ferb as well. It took me a long time to forgive the boys. However, when they finished their project at the end of junior year, things got a little better. They were still very busy, speaking at conferences and such- having received worldwide renown after ending global warming -but they actually somehow seemed to have more time for me and their other friends.

Another incident occurred that summer, one I wish more than anything I could forget. However, this one, above all the others, will be forever burned in my mind. The other incidents seem so stupid in comparison now.

After the day I spent with Ferb, our relationship, and in fact all of my relationships, were never quite the same. I went on a few dates during junior year. They were nothing special, nothing I would write home about. I had one with Baljeet that ended a little hilariously when he got an entire tray of drinks accidentally dumped on him by the waitress, but even that was barely memorable. I went alone to prom. Well, technically, anyway. Ferb gave me a bouquet that he and Phineas "went in on" when I met them to take pictures. He was shy about it, but I knew it was all from him. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and we wound up dancing together all night.

That summer, there were little things beginning between Ferb and me. We might lock gazes across the dinner table. One time, our hands lingered longer than necessary over a marshmallow stick. The dynamic had shifted, was still shifting, but neither of us were quite ready to admit it. How I wish we had. Maybe it would have changed what came after.

Buford asked me out on a date mid-summer. I had never thought of him in that kind of way, but I was a little lonely and frustrated with my odd relationship with Ferb. I might have hoped it would make him a little jealous, make him want to ask me out before someone else did. I don't remember the exact motivation now.

Buford had grown up quite a bit since our childhood together. He was no longer a bully, which was a nice change. Unfortunately, he had picked up a drug problem along the way and was about a day away from failing high school. He had left home when he was only sixteen and had gotten an apartment with a couple of sketchy college kids he knew. Now, at 18 and a grade behind, he wasn't doing much better.

We went to dinner and everything seemed normal, especially for Buford. He was dressed fairly nicely and he acted like a gentleman the entire night. He even paid for our bill. I was having an unexpectedly pleasant time and I might have even thought about a second date. But then he offered to give me a ride home. I hadn't gotten my license yet and already felt bad about making my parents drive me around all the time, so I gladly accepted.

Except he didn't take me home. He said he needed to stop off at the store on his way, so I didn't question when he took me down an unfamiliar street…until we pulled up at his apartment building.

"Uh…Buford…why are we here?" I asked. My senses were starting to tell me that something was off but I shook off the feeling. I told myself that I had known Buford forever. Deep down, he was a good guy.

He turned to me with a grin that made my stomach flip. "Well, see, the guys and I got some, uh, rock candy upstairs. I thought you might like to give it a whirl. It makes things…fun. You seem like you could use a little." Drugs. He was offering me drugs. I had known he had had a rough patch the year before but…he had seemed so nice just a half hour before. I couldn't believe that he really meant it.

I tried to laugh, but it came out awkwardly. "C'mon, Buford, you know I'm not that kind of girl. Just take me home. Please." My voice cracked a little on the word please. He was giving me a look that set off warning signals all over the place.

"See, that's the thing Isabella, I don't have any idea what kind of girl you are. But I'd like to find out," he was leering now, glancing at my chest. I felt frozen in place. "Tell you what…I'll bring you home. Right after a little…fun."

And then he was over the center console and had his lips pressed to mine, hard. I gasped and started pushing at him, fumbling for the door handle. "Oh no you don't," he growled, and suddenly my arms were pinned against my chest, held fast by one of his. The other was touching my head, my neck, my arms, my…

"Buford please stop!" I said, softer and less forcefully than I had meant to. His smile would haunt my dreams for a long time after that.

"Oh sugar…we're just getting started."

I've…I've tried to forget what transpired. One hand held my arms but the other roamed free…touching places he was never meant to touch. I screamed, I fought, I never gave up. But he was just so strong. Every time I struggled he would just press harder on my chest, slamming me backwards into the door. My breathing was strained, but he wouldn't let go. My skin crawls when I remember him touching my breasts, my stomach, still further down…_no stop please stop god I'll do anything stop please Buford we're friends stop you're hurting me just stop_.

But it could have been so much worse. In my memory, I see him reaching for himself, unzipping his fly, and he is distracted for a moment, his grip loosens. I fumble for the door handle and it clicks. I fall backwards out of the car, hard, and it hurts but I'm free. Then I take off running and he's shouting and it hurts but it doesn't matter.

I ducked into a convenience store not too far down the street and hopped over the counter before the pierced and pale girl could say anything. She took one look at me and then glanced back at her magazine. The door jingled just a minute behind me and I heard Buford skid in. He was panting heavily. "Where did she go?" My heart beat faster than it ever had before.

The apathetic teen stared at him for a moment and then pointed casually at the back door. He was gone and the door slammed behind him. I started shaking and realized I must have been crying. "It's okay," she said. "He's gone." She handed me a phone, her expression still not changing. "This happens more often than you think. Go ahead and call someone."

I stared at the phone for a long time, still too shell-shocked and hurt to process. My ankle and chest were throbbing and my outfit was disheveled. I was pretty sure that I was bleeding. I felt hollow. Disgusting. Broken. Finally, I started dialing, unaware of whom I was calling. The phone rang four times before someone picked up on the other end.

"Hello?" a groggy, accented voice asked. Of course it was Ferb. It wasn't even a choice, it was as automatic as breathing. He had held me together before. I felt broken beyond repair, but if anyone had a shot, it was him.

"Ferb…please," I heard my voice break, my throat hoarse from screaming. "I need help." I could hear the sobs hitching my throat as I tried to speak.

"Isabella?" his voice was suddenly alert and just a touch panicked. "Where are you? What's wrong?"

"I'm at…a drugstore downtown…by…Bu…fo…" I suddenly felt like I was about to pass out, and I almost dropped the phone. The girl grabbed it before I could and held it to her ear.

"She's at the Quickie-Wickie off the center of downtown…yeah…135 Tremont Rd…she's…" the girl glanced at me and grimaced. "She's in rough shape, just come get her. Okay. Yes, I'll keep her safe. Hurry up." Then she shut the phone with a snap and knelt beside me.

"I can't believe the assholes in this neighborhood. The girls I see…black eyes, broken arms…all from 'falling down the stairs' they say. Must be some fucking water they're drinking to keep them all so clumsy," she ranted as she assessed my injuries. She touched my ankle and I gasped as stars blossomed in front of my face. I had never ached so badly.

"I hope that's a good guy you got on the phone. Most of them just call up the same fucking guy that chased them out. I can't stand it," I couldn't really hear her after that. The world was getting fuzzy at the edges and there was some kind of buzzing in my ears. "Oh shit, you're bleeding…this isn't good."

I heard myself speaking as the world faded to blackness. "No…he's just…perfect…"

I was being shaken and everything hurt.

"Isabella! No no no…fuck…please, answer me, I can't lose you…dear god, what is wrong with her?" I tried to open my eyes, to speak but it hurt too much, it was too bright.

"Stop that! You'll only make it worse. She passed out from shock I think. Or maybe…blood loss. I don't know- I called an ambulance as soon as I noticed but they're always so backed up in this area. Her ankle is in rough shape and I think she has some broken ribs too. Her breathing isn't very good. I hope they get here soon."

Someone was touching me and that just made the hurt worse. "Stop…it…" I think it was my voice but it didn't sound familiar. It was scratchy and pained.

"Isabella! We have to get you out of here…I'm not waiting, I'm taking her now…" I opened my eyes and there was a face surrounded by green. Green…meant something. It meant understanding and trust and love and perfect.

I heard myself giggle. It made my ache worse but I couldn't help it. The world was too funny. "I like green." There was red staining my clothes. I didn't like red.

"It's getting worse. I think she's delirious. Get her out of here." The voice was black. But black was nice. I liked black too. But no more black, there was too much black, and it was coming back again.

"I don't think she can walk. You'll have to carry her to your car." A pair of hands wrapped around me and it was nice but then I was in the air and there were stars and OW.

"Hey…take good care of her, okay?"

"I will. I swear, I always will. Oh god, I'm so sorry Izzy, how did I let this happen…"

More pain, then more blackness.

White. Lots of white. White was soft and comfortable and lovely. I liked white. It would just be so easy to stay with white forever. But then there was green. I liked green too. Green blending with the white and pulling me back, back, back from far away, too far away. White was easy but green was perfect. _I'm always here for you. Don't ever forget that, no matter what anyone says. I'd give the world to save you from this pain. You're beautiful. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect…She has massive internal bleeding, we don't know if she'll-well…I love you Isabella please don't leave me dear god I'll do anything this is all my fault I'm sorry please stay with me I love you so much I can't lose you…_

Then pain, lots of pain. And bright light. But a dot of green was there to cling to in the sea of white. Ferb, sitting in a chair beside the white bed, in the white room with the white walls and light that was far too bright. He was about to nod off, but when his eyes locked on mine he gasped and moved so fast it made my head spin.

"Isabella! Oh thank god!" His arms were wrapped around me, painful but nice. Grounding. Happy-making.

"I…I came back for you…" I whispered, still hoarse.

"Shhh…don't speak. The doctor says it isn't good for you with the damage to your vocal cords," he said, scooping me into his lap like I was a child. I could hear his heartbeat and I felt safe, finally. "You can tell me everything later, I swear I'll kill whoever did this to you. But for now you need to rest. Your family will be here in the morning and I'm sure they'll want to talk to you. The doctor told them not to stay the night again. He said that it was unlikely you would wake up now if…ever. He said after a week the chances were slim to none. But I just had to stay. I couldn't…leave you. I was so afraid, Izzy, I thought you might be…" His face was full of agony. I couldn't believe he had hurt so badly just because of me. I had never been so important to anyone.

I reached up. I felt weak but I managed to graze his cheek with my hand. "Hey, it's okay. I'm here. I'm always here," I said, smiling.

He sat with me until I fell asleep. I had never felt so calm and peaceful and perfect. The pain would continue, but I knew that as long as I had Ferb by my side, I would get through it.


	5. As Long As You're Mine

Thank you so much to everyone who has followed this story to what I think is the end. I have a few more ideas for these two but I think this story, at least, is at a close. I hope you've enjoyed the ride. No warnings for this chapter. Enjoy the fluff.

I don't own anything at all. Like whatsoever.

Chapter Five

The final incident, or perhaps, depending on how you look at it, the first incident, occurred on a bright sunny day, barely a fluffy cloud to be seen in the sky. Birds were singing, brooks were babbling, and the world was alive. It was my favorite kind of day. But I was not happy, nor did I feel like I ever would be again.

I was leaning against a tree, tired. I was always tired. I just barely survived, after all. The playground and the park surrounding it looked beautiful and tons of children were happily playing all around. I remembered what that was like. Just a year ago, that was me. Well, I was much taller than these children and probably much more ridiculous looking, but I was happy. Carefree. Innocent. But only for a moment. I felt that the problem with these defining moments, especially the happy ones, was that they last only so long. I was bitter.

It had been a month since the night with Buford. I was in the ICU for two weeks. Buford broke several of my ribs and I broke my ankle and hit my head pretty hard in the escape. I shouldn't have been too bad except one of the ribs punctured something vital. I also lost blood, too much blood, from my head and chest wounds and fell into a coma. The doctors said I would never wake up. After a week, my family began to accept it, and there was talk of pulling the plug. But at Ferb's urging-he did detailed research into comas and made a great case for me- they decided to wait just one more week. Ferb, always Ferb, had saved me again.

Ever since I woke up, he hadn't left my side. The only time I was really alone was in the bathroom or in bed. It was a little annoying-everything had been a little annoying since the incident- but it was good because I needed all the support I could get. And, although I wouldn't admit it, I was a little frightened of being alone. And Ferb, at least, understood that the last thing I wanted to do was talk about that night-talk about anything, really- while everyone else seemed to want me to do nothing else. Yet somehow, even being the only one who wasn't pushing for the story, he was the one to slowly get it out of me, piece by piece.

I gave him Buford's name the morning after I woke up for the first time. He let me pretend to sleep when my parents came to visit, knowing I wasn't up for that yet, and distracted them by telling them what he knew. I was grateful. I loved my parents but I just couldn't handle them and all the questions I knew they'd ask. I figured they'd be busy dealing with the police for awhile anyway.

Based on Ferb and the girl from the quickie-wickie's accounts, the cops got a warrant for Buford's apartment and were able to take him and his roommates in for all the drugs they found. After they arrested him, they wanted the whole story, my story, of course, but I refused. Even after I left the hospital a week later, they kept after me and wouldn't let up. I started bursting into tears each time a new cop or detective showed up at the door. Ferb helped me though. He was always there to defend me when the cops started putting too much pressure on me. Little by little, I told him about that night, but only when no one was around. I'd bury my head in his chest and whisper bits and pieces until I broke down into tears at the memories. Eventually, he was able to tell the cops the whole story for me, but even that wasn't enough for them.

They charged Buford with assault, battery and attempted rape as well as the drug charges. They told me, though, that I would have to testify in court in order for the charges to stick. I couldn't bear the thought. I felt so much pressure, alleviated only by the little time I got alone with Ferb. Sometimes we'd talk but usually he'd just hold me and let me cry. He understood my pain like no one else seemed to.

The playground, eventually, became my solace. My mother had long forgotten about it and the police and the lawyer and everyone else had never known about it so there, and really only there, I was safe. Ferb and I began to walk there almost every day to get away from everything else. I'm pretty sure that during that first month he spent constantly by my side, and all the time that came after, he was probably blowing off important press conferences and conventions and things of the like but he never mentioned it. I'm sure Phineas and he fought about it almost constantly as well, but again, I never heard him talk about it. In fact, he avoided all upsetting topics. I think he was afraid that I'd withdraw from him like I had from everyone else.

On that day, that beautiful, lovely late summer day, he sat beside me under the tree, quietly watching the children play. I was leaning against him but we weren't speaking. In fact, we hadn't spoken almost all day as I was in an especially bitter mood. An upsetting thought had struck me the night before and I was still processing it. Finally, when I couldn't stand it any longer, I blurted out what was bothering me so much.

"He stole my first kiss," I said, quietly, suddenly. Ferb, to his credit, after a day of utter silence, didn't stir at my sudden speech. He turned his body a little bit to better acknowledge me and then said, "Who did?"

"Buford," I said, just a hint of revulsion creeping into my voice as it always did when I said his name. Ferb sat very still for a moment, processing my revelation.

Finally, he settled on, "Really?"

I huff a little in frustration. "Yes," I snapped. "What kind of girl do you think I am?"

"I didn't mean to insinuate anything, Izzy. I just…I don't know. I mean I know you've gone on at least a few dates. And I guess I just always assumed…I mean you liked Phineas for so long and were always dropping hints. I just figured…at some point…you two would have-"

"Well we didn't. You know how oblivious he always is. Was. Is. I don't even know if I like him anymore. I don't know if I have for a long time." We sat in silence for another moment.

"You know…I don't mean to speak out of line, but my brother isn't the only one who was always oblivious." This gave me reason to pause. Was he saying that I was oblivious? But oblivious to what? To him? Well, I suppose I had been. I was barely even aware of his existence when we were kids because I was so caught up in Phineas. Was he hurt because I had clearly always liked his brother more? Could he have been…jealous?

"Ferb…are you saying what I think your saying?" He held my gaze for a long moment. I suddenly remembered his voice, what I had thought was a dream in the hospital. I had been drifting in unconsciousness, never wanting to leave. _I love you Isabella, please don't leave me, dear god I'll do anything…_

Finally, he gave me a sad, half-hearted smile. "I was lost from the moment I first saw you. With your cute little pig tails, your beautiful smile, your bright personality…I was so smitten, Izzy. And I haven't looked back since." He paused, trying to judge my reaction, I think. But I don't have a reaction. I can't. This is all too much, too sudden. Ferb? But it was always Phineas, never Ferb. But…maybe it was always Ferb…maybe I never saw it…

"So that day…when I first came to talk to you…I must have made you feel…" I trailed off, feeling so horrible. If only I had known, I tried to tell myself, things would have been so much different. I never would have…but I knew better. I would still have gone after Phineas. I still would have ignored Ferb. I was such a stupid little girl, not even seeing what was in front of my face.

"Don't feel so bad, Isabella. All I've ever wanted was to make you happy. When we were little, Phineas seemed to be the one to make you happy, so I was happy. I wished it was me, sure, always, but as long as you were happy, it didn't matter. Honestly, the day you first came to talk to me was one of the happiest and most painful days of my life," he said. I winced with guilt, hating myself for hurting my best friend, the boy I…oh. That was a new thought. The boy I loved more than anyone. It was always Phineas, but after that day I saw him snap on Ferb, it wasn't him, it could never be him. And it became Ferb. I just…never realized. Not really.

I came out of my thoughts as Ferb began talking again. "Being able to be there for you, to be able to hold you in my arms and make you feel better, even just a little, gave me such purpose, such hope that maybe one day…but it was always Phineas. And that sucked. But I got through it. I just put my feelings aside and tried to be there for you whenever you needed me."

He paused again, and this time a pained look crossed his face. "But I wasn't there when you needed me most. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself for that." The look on his face made me want to cry.

"Hey," I said, cupping his cheek in my hand and forcing him to look at me. "There was nothing more you could have done. No one could have known what Buford would try to do. I certainly didn't. Don't beat yourself up. I'm fine. I'm here. And so are you. You've already done so much since then, so much more than you had to. I can never repay all you've done for me, Ferb." His gaze was so intense, his small smile so sincere, I had to look away.

"You know," I said, smiling a little. "I always thought Phineas would be my first everything, but I especially wanted to save my first kiss for him. But now…" I glanced up, meeting Ferb's curious eyes. I broke out into a full grin. "I'm beginning to think I was saving it for the wrong boy."

And he kissed me. And it wasn't planned. And it wasn't perfect. But it was love. So maybe that made it perfect. The 'incidents' as I saw them, were over. But, at the same time, something new and beautiful and perfect had only just begun.


End file.
